8 Things You Can Do To Help Your Loved One have a Good Death

Do you think people can have a good death? We all wish we could help our loved ones have a good death when it’s their time. Obviously, sometimes death is unexpected and there is no way to prepare them or yourselves. As a Nurse, I have always felt very strongly that death is a natural part of life, and when we have time to prepare, I believe we can help our loved ones have a peaceful and even a “good” death.

  1. Have a family member or close friend stay with them

When we know death is near, keep someone at their bedside to provide comfort, and help them feel they are not alone. When it became clear that my Mother was dying last February, we tried to have someone sitting with her as often as we could. It gave us comfort knowing that she was not alone in a hospital bed, and that one of her 3 daughters, or other family members was right there. It also helps because we often noticed something that may have been missed, if someone wasn’t always there. We could help make her comfortable, or ask for help.

2. Don’t be afraid to touch them

Even when someone is in pain, there are usually ways you can touch them to give them and yourself comfort. Gently holding their hand is a wonderful way to show that you are there. If it helps, you can rub their back, stroke their hair, or even just move close and snuggle next to them. When I stayed with my Mom overnight, I would put her side rail down on the side I was sitting and put my head on the bed next to her pillow and keep my arm around her. Sometimes this was for me as much as for her.

3. Talk, Pray and Sing to them

Even if it seems they are past talking or listening, they may be aware of your comforting voice and even be listening. We would tell my Mom what cute things her great-grandchildren were doing or saying and she often became more alert and even responded with a sweet. “oh?” Another thing we did was sing to her, she LOVED music and when we ran out of things to sing, we sang the old songs she sang with her sisters when we were kids, hymns, and even the lullabies she sang our children! We prayed with her and for her out loud, and that was the last thing she heard on her way to heaven. 

4. Do things to help them be more comfortable

Finding little ways to make them more comfortable is therapeutic to you, too. You can apply lip balm to their lips, give them drinks of water while able, help feed them, gently rub moisturizer on their skin, notice if they seem too warm or too cold and apply and remove blankets as needed. I enjoyed brushing my Mom’s hair and helping her look nice (which was important to my Mom, as it is to most of us). 

5. If they are not at home, bring clothes, blankets and pictures from home

Especially while they are alert, it helps to have their own clothes, nightgowns, blankets and pictures to make their last days more home like. My Mom loved looking through old pictures on my phone, she would scroll through and have me explain each one. She felt more comfortable in her favorite nightgowns, with her favorite fleece blanket over her. 

6. If there’s something you want to say, now’s the time!

Don’t leave things unsaid. That doesn’t mean it’s time to re-hash old hurts when someone is about to die, but, you can say, “I wish we would have spent more time together,” “I’m sorry we didn’t always agree,” “I have always been so proud of you,” “ I love you,” etc. Most of us have a good idea of what is appropriate to say, but, if you’re not sure; ask someone!  Sometimes, this time can be a healing time for those who have had rough relationships. It isn’t always so, but it can be.

7. Let your friends support you

So many of us always say, “we’re fine”, we don’t need help, so often that, when the really big life events happen…we don’t know how to say that we would love some help or support! Let people help! It helps them to be able to help you! When people ask, tell them specifically what you need. Things like, pick up my kids from school, let my dog out, feed my dog, bring dinner on Wednesday, etc. It also helps, if you are the one offering, to not just say, “let me know if you need anything.” Of course they need things! It helped me when a friend said, “can I bring you a meal on (whatever day)?” Offers to pick up groceries are helpful, too. 

8. Don’t feel guilty when you need a break!

There comes a time when you just need an hour’s nap and some real food-don’t feel guilty about that! My sisters and I had an agreement that we would call the others if it looked like death was imminent. We gave ourselves breaks every once in awhile. It’s ok! It worked out perfectly and we were all there when my Mom died. There are long days ahead getting ready for a funeral and all the legal things required. It helps to not be completely drained when that time comes, although, that sometimes can’t be helped. Do what you can to care for yourself, too.

Well, those are my thoughts, but I really have so much more to say on this subject. My Mom passed away last February 29, and it’s taken me almost a year to write anything. 

What do you think can be added to this list? Do you have things that helped you make the death of a loved one better for them and for yourself? Please share in the comments! 

What Jesus do I believe in?

A book review of Stolen Jesus by Jami Amerine

Last year or maybe the year before I “met” Jami Amerine on Facebook. I honestly have no idea how I found her blog, but I soon felt like she was my new friend and began to look forward to her daily blog posts! I felt she was such a kindred spirit, her personality is similar to mine, she writes things I have already written in my head, and has an incredible sense of humor! She also just wrote an amazing book entitled, “Stolen Jesus.”

I knew I would like the book, knowing some of Jami’s heart from what she shares online. What I didn’t know was how it would gently convict me and bring me face to face with some of the jesus’ I was believing in! I mean, I know the real Jesus, right? I’m a missionary nurse, for Pete’s sake!

As I read, I experienced deep sorrow at realizing I had invited some fake Jesus’ into my living room, and I was getting downright cozy with them! As I continued to read, I was swept away with both sorrow and then JOY at knowing who the real Jesus is! I cried with Jami in these pages as I read her struggles with the very same things I struggle with (Jami, are you sure you’re not my long lost sister?).

Jami writes with raw emotion and contagious joy. I am starting to read the book again only a few days after finishing it in order to make sure I caught all the truths in its pages. I actually wrote, “YES!” and high-lighted and underlined parts of the book that resonated with my soul.

Stolen Jesus is supposed to be released on October 1st, but I think Barnes and Nobel is already shipping it out! I did receive an advanced copy to review. #stolenjesus

You can also order it from Amazon here

Review: Aromanice Goat Milk Lavender Shampoo

I recently had the chance to try out another product from Aromanice, their Lavender shampoo! Although this Goat’s Milk shampoo was especially created for people with oily hair and/or dandruff, it works great for other types of hair, too!

The shampoo comes in a generously sized bottle, over 20 ounces! It smells great and is a slightly thick, clear to yellowish consistency! My hair isn’t oily right now, so I asked my daughter in law to try it over Christmas break. She liked it a lot and thought her hair was shiny and bouncy looking! I used it, too, and I needed to follow up with a conditioner, but I really liked it! The scent is fresh and the size should last a long time.

I love the fact that this shampoo is made from mostly natural ingredients, It has lavender and rosemary extracts, which smell wonderful! I sent my sample bottle home with my daughter in law, since it is the perfect shampoo for her. This shampoo sells for $16.94 on Amazon and you can buy it through my affiliate link, here:

I was given a sample of this shampoo in exchange for my honest review. I was not paid for my opinion.

Review: Aromanice Goat Milk Shower Cream and Hand Lotion


The product(s) featured in this post was provided free of cost to me or at a discount for the sole purpose of product testing and review. This post has not been monetarily compensated. Please note that, as always, any personal opinions reflected in this post are my own and have not been influenced by the sponsor in any way.

It is almost winter-time and boy, does my skin know it! The combination of indoor heating and cold outdoor wind has made my hands,body and face dry and chapped. My hands have become so rough and my body has dry, itchy patches. 

I was asked if I wanted to review a new luxury skincare line that was made with Goats milk and Shea butter. Of course I said, “yes!” The first items I received were a shower cream and hand lotion. Let’s see how they performed for me!


Aromanice Goat Milk Shower Cream

Retail price: $11.88

This creamy body wash contains goats milk, shea butter and jojoba oil. The combination of these ingredients helps to make this shower cream extra moisturizing and nourishing to your skin. It felt soft and silky on my skin, but not greasy at all. There was a soft, pleasing fragrance which did not compete with my own perfume. When I rinsed myself off in the shower, I could tell that my skin was softer and more moisturized. My skin felt silky and wonderful! I give this shower cream 5 stars!


Aromanice Goat Milk Hand Cream

Retail price: $10.17

The hand cream contains some of the same ingredients as the shower cream, but also has lecithin, which adds additional softening and hydration. The cream is a thick, white cream that has a very soft floral scent. It absorbs quickly and leaves your hands feeling very soft and hydrated. I have been using it for several days now and my cracked and chapped hands are looking and feeling so much better! I am going to try sleeping with cotton gloves on my hands to help the cream keep working overnight. I may even try using it on my feet overnight! The tube of cream is a generous 2 ounces, which is also the perfect size to throw in your purse or backpack! It can even be taken in your carry on bag for international travel, as it is under 3 ounces.


These great skincare products can be purchased on Amazon, click on the link (affiliate link) below

Happy birthday, Caleb! (Baby story #2)


Happy Birthday, Caleb! (baby story #2)

Daddy suspected it first. We were driving home from a wonderful vacation in Vermont during the fall when he dropped the bombshell: “I think you’re pregnant, hon!” Pregnant? Me? Now? Remember how we tried for well over a year? Remember the heartache of losing our first baby? Remember saying we didn’t need to use birth control because as you put it, “You don’t seem to get pregnant easily.”  Yeah, remember those things? Oh, one more. Remember how our baby is only 6 months old?

 On our trip, I would wait until we must have been driving for 5 hours and I was starving before I would ask Dad to stop and get me something to eat. I guess it was usually only 20 minutes. Oops. I was also pretty exhausted, but heck! I had a 6 month old baby! I had also just climbed a mountain on our trip! Well, a small one, but still…

I was pregnant. I was one month pregnant. My first response was fear. But, after a few hours of getting used to the idea, a thrill began growing inside me. I WAS PREGNANT! Me. Growing another miracle inside my body like a super hero! Ok, change of plans. Now I would be the Mommy of 2 children, very close together. Basically, 2 babies. So what if I was just getting back into shape! I would be a fit pregnant woman.

Could my heart expand to love another baby as much as I loved our Joshie? Well, Caleb, dear…you didn’t make it easy! The very first night you were born, you whimpered all night. The nurses wanted me to sleep (you were born at 11:30pm) and I told them I wouldn’t rest unless you were with me. I was so worried about you! What was causing you to be in pain?

Colic. One little word that would consume our days and nights. You screamed for up to 3 hours at a time. After awhile, baby Joshie began screaming, too, to get my attention. I thought being a nurse would help me handle anything. Colic had even your doctors stumped. At one appointment where you were also diagnosed with asthma at 2 months of age, the Pediatrician scribbled a prescription and handed it to me. “Give this to your husband,” he said, with a concerned look. The script?  “3 hours at mall without babies,” it said.

My heart grew. You continued to scream much of the time, but gave us glimpses of the funny; sweet and intelligent child you were. Most frustrating was when I would take you boys out for a walk and you would show off by smiling and cooing to anyone who stopped to admire you! “Is he a good baby for you?” Ummm, well, all babies are good, but he also screams more than he does anything else! “No! I don’t believe it! He’s so sweet! He must smile all the time!”

What a difference a few months made! Your horrible colic got better, although you never have lost that stubborn, adventerous spirit! You would wrench your elbow out of joint 3 times at age 2 and 3. The first time it was jumping off of a couch, the second and third were yanking away from me while I was holding on to your hand. The doctor chastised me for “pulling on your arm” and I burst into tears! How to explain that I wasn’t the one pulling and how can a child yank that hard, doesn’t it hurt?

You visited the emergency room more than we wished. You were hard to keep down! Yet, through it all you always had a twinkle in your eye and an infectious giggle! Watching you grow up to be the passionate and loving teacher, worship leader and husband you are has made your Dad and I very proud!

Happy 28th birthday, Caleb! Keep running after Jesus with all you’ve got! Dad and I love you so very much!

Happy Mother’s Day to my Kids!



As Mother’s Day approaches, I have been thinking about my kids. Well, that’s not really hard to do, considering there are 6 of them! This post series is for them, but you are certainly welcome to listen in! Each post will feature one of my kids.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a mother. Sure, I imagined that I would be a famous actress or a brain surgeon, too…but being a mother was a given.  When I was a teenager, I thought my time would never come. I never thought I would survive through high school and college and ever be old enough or mature enough for marriage and babies. Disclaimer: I am not sure you ever feel old enough or mature enough once you realize a baby is actually coming!

When the day finally came that my husband agreed we should try to have a baby, we had been married 3 years. I was sure I would be pregnant the very next month! I cried every month that went by with no sign of a baby. I prayed and cried a lot those days. Mother’s day was painful for me, as were the well-meaning comments asking when we were going to start our family. Every month that I didn’t get pregnant, I felt like a failure.

After more than a year, we were finally pregnant! But, as soon as we called our parents and told our friends, my body went into labor, rejecting the baby we had prayed and hoped for. We were told to wait a few months before trying again.

Finally, I was pregnant again! Of course, I was scared to death that I would lose this baby, too.When I was a few weeks pregnant, I wrote this little poem:

Joy of my heart,

Seed of our love,

growing quietly within.

Praise God!

I am…

a Mother.

I was working as a nurse on a cardiac care floor and most days I didn’t have time to sit down during my shift. On my days off, I would rest on the couch with my belly uncovered to let the sun shine on it. I would sing to my baby and tell him how loved and wanted he was.  I went into premature labor several times and by 6 months, I was advised to take a medical leave and go on bedrest for the remainder of the pregnancy. After 3 days of hard labor and a full 12 days after his due date,  Joshua Aaron joined our world. Joshua, you have the special place of firstborn. With you, we vowed to be the perfect parents and never leave the house with your face dirty, nose running or clothes out of place. We would love you perfectly and you would respond with perfect obedience, never cry or fuss and a perfect score on your SAT’s. I know, I know, I’m laughing, too!

The truth of the matter was that we failed horribly almost daily. Your first year of life was almost non-stop ear infections and pediatric cardiology appointments, and since we thought we would never get pregnant again-surprise! Baby number 2 was on the way when you were only 5 months old! I was a tired, pregnant, grumpy and disillusioned young mom! No baby was ever loved more than you were and no mother was ever more surprised than I was that I couldn’t be the perfect mother. Thank you, Josh, for breaking me in and training me on what it takes to be a mother! You were an amazing and brilliant child and you are an amazing and brilliant young man! Watching you be such a wonderful husband and awesome Daddy brings me to tears. I love you, honey!

Stayed tuned for the next few days as I feature Caleb, Julianna, Samuel, Emma and Katja! I love each and every one of them with a fierce Mama-love that will never die! Happy Mother’s Day, kids…you are the reason I am celebrating!



Spring-time, my Romeo

Birds in Tree

O Spring, Spring! Wherefore art thou Spring-time?
Deny thy winter and refuse thy snow.
Or, if thou wilt not, be but warmer my love,
And I’ll no longer be a hermit. (apologies to Mr. Shakespeare!)

These cold, dreary last days of winter have caught me in its claws. My heart feels like a stone, weighing me down. The politics of this world have made me pensive and sad. I eagerly look for signs of Spring. A warmth in the breeze, a bud on a tree, a crocus pushing up through the mire.

I love the winter when it is new and fresh, but now I am tired of the cold mud and gray skies. Forgive me for not posting lately. I just can’t seem to crawl out of this hole.

Wow! I wrote the above sentiments about 10 days ago, and a lot has happened since then! First of all, we had several beautiful, warm sunny days…that always cheers me up! Second, I met a beautiful family that I had been introduced to online (hmmm, that sounds kind of creepy, but we were introduced on facebook by a mutual friend!).  They moved into my area and I dragged myself out of my slump and got to work on welcoming them to the area. They have 2 awesome little boys that I have had the great honor of babysitting (or practicing my grandparenting skills!) and in doing so, I feel recharged, refreshed and exhilarated!


Do you have something that can bring you up out of a low mood or depression? If you have a passion, hobby or something else that you have found that works for you, please share it with us! As a Christian, there are scripture verses that help encourage me when I am feeling sad, one of my favorites is

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 

 As a Nurse, I realize that sometimes I may need to consult a Doctor if I am feeling depressed and I cannot pull myself out of it. Depression can be a chemical imbalance in our brains or even a result of a long, dreary winter. SAD, or seasonal affect disorder occurs to some people when there is a drastic reduction in the amount of sunshine they are getting daily. It can help to get a full-spectrum light and sit under it for at least 30 minutes daily. 

Or, in my case, maybe you just need to play with some incredibly cute kids! Thanks, Sheri!


Valentine’s Day Chocolate Cherry Dessert Crepes


Valentine’s Day Chocolate Cherry Dessert Crepes

Oh, my goodness! I just made the easiest, most delicious Valentine’s Day treat and my taste buds are singing happy songs! If you want to make something special for Valentine’s Day, but don’t have the time or patience to make a decadent dessert with tricky instructions, this recipe is for you!

First of all, you need to make some basic crepes. There are crepe recipes all over the internet, I used a simple one from allrecipes found here. Some recipes call for chilling the crepe batter for an hour, but my crepes were a last minute, impulsive decision, so I needed one that I could mix up and cook right away!

My skillet has a fancy honeycomb design, which made my crepes look a little fancier! If you didn’t read all about my new ceramic skillet from Ozeri, click here, it’s pretty amazing!

Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day Chocolate Cherry Dessert Crepes


Crepes, made according to your favorite recipe

Greek yogurt, plain or vanilla

Cherry or raspberry preserves (or use from yogurt container)

Chocolate chips

Chocolate curls from yogurt container

Frozen or fresh dark sweet cherries and/or raspberries

Whipped cream

Husband, children or best friends to share it with!



  1. Lay crepe flat on plate
  2. Spoon greek yogurt in middle of the crepe. I used Mixim from Aldi that came in a heart shaped container with separate sections for the yogurt, preserves and chocolate curls.
  3. Spoon preserves and some chocolate chips over the yogurt.
  4. Roll crepe up to form a tube.
  5. Squirt whipped cream down the length of the rolled crepe.
  6. Spoon fruit over whipped cream
  7. Sprinkle chcocolate curls, chocolate chips, or both over top of fruit.
  8. Enjoy!


 So, there you have it! A super-easy, decadent Valentine’s Day treat you can whip up in no time for your favorite Valentine! What do you think? I hope you try it, let me know how you like it!

Ceramic Green Earth Frying Pan by Ozeri: Review


This ceramic green earth frying pan by Ozeri is made safely with no heavy metals or chemicals. The older kind of non stick pans have been found to be dangerous for your health, so I was eager to replace my older pan with a new one that is safe to use.

The ceramic surface of the pan has a unique honey-comb design. I was worried that certain foods would stick to the design, but I tried it out with pancakes first, and there was absolutely NO sticking!

copyright 2016 pamela jablonski

ceramic green earth frying pan by ozeri

You have to season the pan before the first use, which is very easy to do and the directions are included. You don’t need much oil in the pan at all and you can use a lower temperature because the pan conducts heat so efficiently! It is a DREAM to clean up and the ceramic surface is scratch resistant, too!

The pan came with a felt flower-like protector that you place inside the pan to keep other pans from sratching it while it is put away. The green color is bright and pretty and reminds me of how ecologically friendly my new pan is!

ceramic green earth frying pan by Ozeri

I usually don’t gush over pans, I have had my own catering business and have a nice set of Cuisinart stainless steel pans, but this one is my favorite! I plan to get one for my daughter for her college graduation. A wonderful gift for you or someone else! I did recieve this pan for free in order to review it, although my opinions are always my own.

You can purchase this 12″ceramic Green Earth frying pan on Amazon for $27.50

It also comes in a nice set of several sizes! I made scrambled eggs in it this morning and all I had to do to clean it was to wipe it down with a damp paper towel!


I received this product at no charge for review purposes, the opinions posted are mine and I was under no obligation to post a positive review. This post has affiliate links. 

Sunday Morning Coffee


Sunday morning…the morning sky is like peaches dipped in vanilla frosting. The smoke from fireplaces and furnaces floats like a lazy river over roof tops in my neighborhood. The old wood floor vibrates as the furnace purrs in the cellar, like the content cat warming my lap.

My coffee is cold…and black. Yesterday’s brew that sat in the pot overnight. I will heat it about 3 times and set it down, forgetting to drink it while it’s hot. I want to savor the peace of this morning.


My Bible lays open on my lap, I close my eyes and let the words sink into my soul. I love the Psalms, and find myself going there frequently.

Now, the house is waking up. Water runs in the bathroom upstairs. The dog yawns noisily, looking at me with hope that I will get up and get him a treat.

It’s time to get ready for Church.

It’s time to heat up my coffee again (yes, I forgot it).

It’s time to start a new week.

I pray for you, friends. I pray this week will be filled with all you need and unexpected blessings.